Sadly Mistaken

I thought I was ready for something. Someone new. I had all these expectations of what things should have been like, but it just didn't happen that way. I'm disappointed that the relationship didn't work out. I'm just not ready to be committed to someone completely yet. I thought if I forced myself to be happy, I would be and it worked for a time, but doubt settled in and I realized that I couldn't go on with this charade any longer without becoming incredibly unhappy. I'm more and more independent as the days go on, but I need to be completely self-reliant and self-actualized before I can take on the responsibility of being in love. I'm damaged goods. I will never quit saying that until I believe it to not be true. I still have feelings for my ex even though he ignores me and undoubtedly must loathe my existence. I still have a complicated friendship with an old flame from last year that may have been worth all it's volatility. Who knows what other opportunities may present themselves? I really don't know exactly what I want, but I have a general idea.
I just need time.