Halpert and Beesly

This is me.
This is everything.
This is ludicrous.
This is my life:

Rarely simple.
Rarely easy.
Rarely expected.
Rarely satisfying.

Life in movies;
Life in television;
Life in music;
Are lives misleading.

Bad decisions;
Bad influences;
Bad situations;
Are all I've know.

Losing in love,
Losing self-respect,
Losing everything
And now my mind.

I want what's worst for me.
I want what I can't have.
I want who doesn't want me.
I want to just be loved.
I want to drink.
I want to cuddle.
I want to be best friends.
I want to get married.

Maybe if I'm more like Pam,
I'll find someone more like Jim.
I've got to stop
Being a giggling, smiling, harlot.

No one knows the quiet secrets I keep.
No one sees the mangled condition of my heart.
No one measures the ounces of tears I nightly cry.
No one fathoms my fear to fall in love.