Things I Was Taught About Voting

“This is how you vote,” my father said:

Go in the booth

Punch the button

Vote a straight Republican ticket

And you’re done.

“There are many things a woman never tells,” my mother said:

Her age

Her weight

Her shoe size

And who she voted for.

“Read this article about John McCain,” my father said:

He is a veteran

I’m a veteran

He’s as old as my father

I’m your father

Vote for him.

“Be a good Republican,” my parents said:

Don’t waste your vote

Stay politically unmotivated

Support the President, no matter who wins

Unless he’s a Democrat.

“I voted for Ron Paul,” I told my mother:

You did what?

Voted for who?

Hahahaha

Oh… you’re serious.